A Clingy Boy Sticking for Fifteen Years
by R. J. Niner
Summary: For fifteen years, Yuuma's been writing letters to the love of his life. Sure, she hasn't replied yet, but Yuuma wasn't discouraged. After all, he was never going to give up loving her. A story about those fifteen years. Based off the song of the same name by Ie no Ura de Manbou ga ShinderuP. YuumaxGumi (though Gumi doesn't appear much..)
1. Prologue

I was running through the brightly lit halls, panting for breath and yet never stopping. I wasn't sure where I was going. I just knew I had to keep running, no matter what happened. It was like I would never see her again if I stopped, so I pushed forward, not thinking, just running.

The halls were plain, white with no decoration. It was a straight path with only one destination, a dazzling light at the end of the hallway that shouted at me to run faster or else I'd be too late.

After what seemed like an endless drone of footsteps and panting, my feet finally started to slow, my eyes trained on the girl who'd finally appeared in front of me.

Her green hair was longer than I remembered, shimmering under some hidden sun. She was dressed in a sweeping, sleeveless white dress that rippled with every step she took, her footsteps light and muffled across the cold floor. She didn't seem to notice me, so I used the last of my energy to run up to her and tap her on the shoulder.

"Where you going, Gumi?"

A short pause.

"You know the answer to that," she finally taunted back, a smile appearing on her face as she turned to look at me.

I glanced away, suddenly uncomfortable. Of course I knew the answer. Why was I even asking? Because I didn't want to accept the truth?

"Don't make a face like that," she chided, flashing me another satisfied and peaceful smile. "You promised, right? To send me off with a smile."

"But…" This was different. She'd tried so hard to achieve her dreams, and they were finally in reach. But now, her position only further separated her from me. What did I want to tell her? _It's dangerous. People might hate you. Don't leave me._

She put a finger to my lips, silencing my thoughts. Softly, she kissed my lips, strangely cold and leaving a tingling sensation all over me.

"I'll be fine," she reassured me. "Don't worry about me, Yuuma. I'll always love you, so don't forget that."

"I love you too, Gumi" I mumbled back, my arms wrapping tightly around her, but to my surprise, they only slipped through her as she backed away, her eyes staring back at the bright light at the end of the hall, the greatness she was destined to just waiting there for her.

"It's time to go," she said, almost as if she was stuck in a trance. Her feet started padding over the white floor again, moving farther and farther away from me. My feet were glued to the ground. I couldn't move them anymore. She was beyond my reach. I wouldn't be able to catch her if she fell.

I felt anxiety rush through my bloodstream, coursing through every cell in my body. I shouted, "Gumi, do you have to go?"

She stopped short, her short green hair brushing forward from the momentum before falling back in place. After a moment's hesitation, she turned and gave me the brightest smile I'd ever seen on her face. She softly chided, "Yuuma, you like to worry so much."

"But what if something were to happen to you? I won't be there to support you anymore," I shouted, my hands trembling as I spoke. "What if you go away to a place where I can never see you again? I'm scared, Gumi! I don't want you to go!"

Gumi only let out a soft chuckle. She replied, "Yuuma, remember the time when we first met?"

I hesitated. When I'd first met Gumi, it's been in high school. The cafeteria had been out of seats, so I'd snuck to the rooftop to spend my lunch. I had found Gumi there, singing alone. I still remembered the awe that had washed over me as I listened to her sing there, her voice like it'd been blessed by an angel itself. All I'd managed to learn was Gumi's name, so I left a letter in Gumi's locker, complimenting her singing. She replied back, and so the cycle continued until finally we met again on the rooftop.

"That's right," Gumi said, as if seeing my thoughts. She placed a hand over her heart and continued, "No matter where we are, even if there are times when we can't see each other, our hearts will always be connected. As long as you don't severe this link between us, there's no reason to be afraid."

I knew what she was talking about. For years, even after we'd started dating, we liked to leave each other notes and letters, a little hobby of ours that we enjoyed. I called out, my fists tightly clenched, "Then I'll write to you, as many times as I have to, but for now, can't you just stay for another moment longer?"

She sadly shook her head. She said in a soft whisper, so quiet that I didn't know how I heard it, "You know I can't control that, Yuuma. So please, stay strong, for both of us. I'll love you no matter where I go, even in death."

A red blur suddenly teetered through my vision, rushing through Gumi and her dazzling, final smile, her voice lost in the screeching wind. She was rapidly disappearing right before my eyes.

"Gumi!" I screamed, reaching forward to grab her, but my feet refused to budge. _Not yet, please, don't leave me yet! _

I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my head. My eyes snapped open. I was staring at the green wall of my bedroom, the world upside-down and my outstretched arm out in front of me. Remembering my dream, I must have fallen off the bed when I'd tried to grab her. With a groan, I let the rest of my body fall from my bed as well, sinking into my fallen blankets.

Slowly, I picked myself up, rubbing the back of my head. Yawning, I glanced around the room, my eyes half open. It was just as I had left it yesterday, white envelopes scattered across the floor, all sealed with a heart sticker and addressed to Gumi.

I felt a stinging pain again. Dream might it be, but in reality, the pain of not having her here with me was hard to bear.

Gumi's words rang in my head again. Glancing again at the letters on the floor, I sighed and crouched down to pick up the scattered letters. I hadn't clean my room in ages, and it was about time I did.

Carefully, I slipped each envelope off the ground and tucked it next to my chest, my arm pressing gently against them, enough to keep them in place without creasing the sheets of paper.

After all the envelopes found their way into a large basket specially made for them, I pulled open the curtain and I checked the calendar before collapsing onto my desk chair. Who cared about how I was dressed on weekends? And I didn't feel like eating breakfast either.

My thoughts fell back on my dream. It'd been so long since I'd seen Gumi smile like that. Was it my subconscience telling me that perhaps I'd made the wrong decision in letting Gumi go off on her own in pursuit of her dreams?

I smacked myself in the face. That was wrong. It'd been Gumi's own decision to chase that path. Whatever had happened, I was sure Gumi had left no regrets behind. As long as I continued to write to Gumi, as long as I didn't severe this one tie with her, what was there to be afraid of?

I picked a pen off of the table and started playing with it, my eyes staring out into space.

"Fifteen years, huh," I sighed, leaning back in my chair as I fingered my pen. I let a smile escape from my heart and onto my face. Pulling my chair up to the desk, I grabbed a new sheet of paper, my pen uncapped, sitting on the top of the page.

For fifteen years, I've written letters to Gumi, the first and only girl I'll ever love in this world. She hadn't replied yet to my letters, not once.

But I guess it didn't matter. As long as I still had this link to her, anything, even love, could outlive the boundaries of space and time. Surely, one day, I'd receive that long awaited reply. Wouldn't that be a wonderful feeling once that happened?

With that thought in mind, I bent over the white paper and set my first words down in ink.

_Dear Gumi… _

* * *

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day everyone! Sorry for this crappy prologue, but I couldn't think of anything other way to start this story...**

**So I wasn't going to name the girl Yuuma likes, but it was painful to write this without names or descriptions, so I chose Gumi since there's a particular duet of them that I like. Don't hate me T3T**

**That said, thanks for reading! I think I made the ending too obvious for anyone who hasn't heard this song... If you haven't guessed from the title, the story's going to based off the song "A Clingy Boy Sticking of 15 Years" by... uh... Ie no Ura de Manbou ga ShinderuP I think? Anyways, please review!**


	2. Year 1

"Hey, Yuuma, let's go out somewhere!"

"Why?"

"You need some fresh air," was the reply. "We're going hiking, and you're coming along whether you like it or not!"

"Fine, fine, just let me finish this letter!"

"You're still writing to her?" Gumo shouted, bursting through my bedroom door, a frown on his face.

"What? You have something against it?" I retorted back, casting an annoyed glance before returning to my letter.

He let out an exasperated sigh. He replied, "Well, sure, it's your coping mechanism but—"

"It's the form of my love to Gumi, not some coping mechanism," I tartly cut in, deciding that glaring at Gumo was more important than the letter at the moment.

"Eh, that's disturbing when you put it to words," Gumo shivered dramatically, "especially when it's my sister you're talking about."

"Hmph," I muttered. "You're just jealous you lack the ability to even get a girlfriend."

Gumo just rolled his eyes and plopped onto the one couch in the room. His frown melted into a small smile though as he said, "Well, glad you're in good spirits."

"I'm always in good spirits," I said without lifting my head, my pen scribbling across the page in long elegant strokes. I saved this handwriting for Gumi only. The others could take their time to decipher my normally messy handwriting.

"Whatever," Gumo sighed, the sound of him bouncing off the couch quickly following. "Well, just get your ass over at my house in an hour. I'll hunt you down if you don't show up."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered back just before the door clicked shut. Finally, some more peace and quiet.

I'd been writing this letter since I got up in the morning. Now, it was already a good two pages long, full of stuff about how I missed Gumi, and how I hoped she was doing well. I'd actually just about finished when the carrot head (Gumo had a strange obsession with carrots, though Gumi had shared that trait) barged into my room and disturbed my peace.

I stared at the last sentence I wrote. _I know you might not be able to reply, but I just want you to know that no matter what, I'll continue to love you no matter how long it may be till we meet again._

I was going to sign my name after that, but just for kicks, I felt a childish grin appear on my face as I continued the letter.

_By the way, your brother's still as grumpy as ever. He's forcing me to go on a hike with everyone, even though everyone knows what a weakling I am. But I know what you're going to say. It'd good for me and my health. I suppose it is. Gumo didn't particularly say where we're going, but I'll bring you back a souvenir. Hopefully you'll like it, but I'm pretty sure you will. _

With that, I signed the letter, tenderly folded all the pages in thirds, and tucked it into a cream envelope. I licked the edge of the flap before pressing it down with enough force to make it stick, finishing the job with a red, heart sticker. I held out my finished work in front of me, a happy grin on my face.

I fumbled through my drawer before finding the stamps. I had two kinds of stamps. The kind like stickers that you could just slap onto the paper, and the other kind that you had to lick. Everyone else got the cheap, sticky ones. Gumi, of course, was the exception.

Carefully, I took out one and gave the back of the stamp a nice, big lick, covering the back completely with saliva. Some people might think it disgusting, but spit, as some called it, was a part of me as well, so by having it on the letter, I was sending Gumi a piece of myself along with the letter, a piece of my heart.

After I stuck on the stamp, I tucked it into my bag before throwing on a pair of black pants and a white shirt. I glanced around and grabbed my x and x jacket from my bedpost. Sure it had pink on it, but Gumi had bought it for me. Plus, it matched well with my hair.

It took about another five minutes to get my stuff together. I found my wallet in the kitchen and my headphones on the windowsill. My phone had found its way into my bed and my camera was hiding in a closet. We were going hiking after all. Probably in the mountains or somewhere with good scenery, so cameras were definitely necessary.

I put everything in my bag and glanced around the room. It seemed that my desk was always the only neat place in my home, the place where I wrote my letters to Gumi. I gave a small laugh at the thought and went out the door. I realized I'd forgotten my keys and stuck my foot in the front door before it could shut and lock me out. Close call. If Gumi had seen it, she'd have burst out laughing. I'd definitely have to tell it to Gumi in another letter after the hike.

The train ride was easily the biggest waste of my time. Music was nice, but to do nothing but stare at people's legs as you hogged the one seat closest to the subway doors was no fun. I sighed and leaned against the plastic separator, my head turned to look up at the white, puffy clouds drift away in the blue sky. Somewhere under that beautiful sky, Gumi was there, hopefully enjoying herself and singing to her heart's content. I smiled at the thought and let my eyes close. I still had a long way till my destination.

It'd been a few months since the day Gumi had been accepted into the modeling agency. I wrote every day after that, sometimes even writing several letters a day, just so the bond between us would never fade or grow weak. Gumo dropped by sometimes, mostly to check how I was doing, like today, trying to keep my spirits up and get me out of the house. I was afraid to visit Gumi, so Gumo was my messenger most times, dutifully taking my letters to Gumi. That's what he said at least. I wouldn't trust Gumo with most things, but this was one thing I knew he'd help me with.

She hadn't replied to my letters yet. I was still waiting for her response, but I know it probably won't happen anytime soon. I'd always believed my love for Gumi could transcend space and time. With good measure, I knew she'd reply to my letters one day. And I would be here, happily waiting for it.

"The next station is Sunset Alley. The next station is Sunset Alley," went the announcer over the speaker. With a sigh, I picked myself up and pushed my way to the door, catching it just as it opened. It was too bad that Gumo's home was so far from mine. I had to ride such a long train ride just to reach his house. Then again, there was good in that. He couldn't make such a long journey to check up on me every day.

It took another ten-minute bus ride and a few minutes of walking to get to Gumo's house. I had to lean against the dark green railing of his porch for a few moments before going up to knock on the door. He had a big home compared to most of us, two stories high with cream white brick walls on the outside. It had that nice, homey feeling, but then you went inside and your eyes burned. It was all a clash of green and orange, inspired obviously by his carrots and green hair.

Gumo swung open the door with a grin. He said, "Aha, finally! I thought you'd forgotten about the trip."

"I'm not someone who forgets their promises," I muttered, going into the house. Silently, I pulled out my letter to Gumi and handed it to him. He glanced at it before leaning over to slip it into a small drawer where my other letters from this week were. He could only go to Gumi's place once a week after all. I was already thankful he could go visit her in my place, so I didn't press matters.

With that, he grabbed me by the shoulders and steered me towards the living room, grinning, the moment before forgotten. He loudly declared, "Okay, everyone, Yuuma's here!"

"Finally," Gakupo sighed. He was sprawled out on the couch, glasses propped up on his forehead as he looked up from his book.

"About time too," Yohioloid, Yohio for short, grinned, his legs dangling from the edge of the marble countertop he was sitting on.

I mumbled something about a crowded train and stupid bus rides. Yohio just continued to snicker before his sister, Aria, gave him a shove and almost caused him to fall off the table. She rolled her eyes and said, "Stop being a child. Yuuma's here now, so can we go?"

"Sure," Gumo said, grabbing his tinted goggles from a hook. They were apparently a gift from his parents to both him and Gumi, and he always went out with them on. "IA, you want to lead the way?"

"If you insist," IA replied, plopping onto the counter next to her brother. IA was Aria's nickname. I had no idea why, but they all went with it. She also had a brilliant mind when it came to directions, not to mention her driving skills were like a pro. Not that I could think of many other things she was good at.

Yohio shot a glare at her and said, "Hey, at least apologize! I could've cracked my skull if I fell!"

"Hmph, you would've deserved it," IA shot back, and in moments, they were bickering again.

"Enough!" Gakupo shouted, slamming his book shut and chucking it at the siblings.

I saw the flower vase behind IA and Yohio. Too late, I started, "Ah, I wouldn't—"

The vase fell over with a crash as both IA and Yohio ducked sideways to avoid the book that went flying into the flowers. Looking at the glass shards everywhere with a frozen, emotionless look, Gumo suddenly burst out, "What do you think you're doing? Now look what you did!"

He stormed off to the kitchen to get a broom and dustpan, his expression half tearful half furious. IA and Yohio looked guiltily at each other before running off to help, quick to go appease their friend. I sighed and plopped down next to Gakupo, who sat cross-armed on the sofa.

"You understand it's your fault, right?" I said, deciding to put out a pad of paper. The accident didn't really concern me, so I thought I'd use the time to start my next letter to Gumi.

"You still writing to her?" Gakupo asked after a long sigh, ignoring my obvious statement.

"Yeah," came my tart reply.

"You really don't give up," Gakupo remarked. "Why are you even doing it? You know better than I do that it's hopeless."

I glanced up, eyes glaring, and snapped, "I don't need you to remind me!"

Gakupo went silent. I was scribbling furiously by now, but I didn't know what I was writing. Frustrated, I made a big X over the page, ripped it out and tossed it into the nearest garbage. I plopped back against the couch and closed my eyes, tired.

We didn't speak for a long time. I could hear Gumo shouting at IA and Yohio, their voices muffled as they threw cabinets open with a bang, looking for the broom and dustpan. As nice as Gumo's home was, he was a terrible organizer. You could find a clothes in a kitchen cabinet and plates in the bathroom, not to mention his things were scattered all over as well.

"Sorry," I mumbled. "I shouldn't have snapped at you."

"I apologize as well. I was being insensitive," Gakupo said. The sofa stopped sagging to my right. I looked up and saw Gakupo get up. He continued, "I better help those three helpless idiots. Otherwise, who knows when we'll ever leave."

He vanished into the corridor towards the kitchen. I sat there staring after him before suddenly bending over and writing:

_Dear Gumi,_

_ I'm at your brother's house right now. Gakupo broke the vase you got Gumo for his birthday. He looked really upset. I think I could get him a new one someday soon, since I helped you pick it out, but I guess it wouldn't be the same as you giving it to him. He'll get over it soon, probably, so don't worry about it._

_ Gakupo told me writing to you is hopeless. Maybe it is. Somewhere inside, maybe I know that you'll never write back. But I won't give up. I think it's man's nature to be hopeful. We hope and hope and hope that our wishes and inner desires are granted, and when we're let down, we just rise up and hope again. _

_ I think I said that to you before. Remember? When you were applying to the modeling agency. You called it a reckless idea. Well, maybe I'm that reckless person following this reckless thought. As long as I can keep writing to you and preserve this bond with you, I will always be happy, so please forgive this reckless nature of mine._

_ I'll love you forever, Gumi._

_ Love, Yuuma_

I carefully ripped the page out and folded it to fit an envelope that I fished out of my bag. I licked the edge shut and massaged a heart sticker onto the back before getting up and out towards the front door. I slipped the letter into the small cabinet of letters and gently closed it shut again.

I could still here them arguing, Gakupo's voice now among the mix. Were they even looking for the broom or the dustpan, I really didn't know. I stuck my hands in my pockets with a sigh.

"I guess I should go help," I muttered to myself, and I headed over to help my friends.

* * *

**A/N: I didn't really know who would be Yuuma's friends… so I chose Gakupo cause like, samurais and swords (vy2's cover art)… and I was listening to a Yohioloid song… And IA and Yohioloid look similar, if you stare really hard…**

**I realized this chapter really doesn't have much to do with the song … And I don't know how to write letters…Well, hope you enjoyed it! You can say I'm very loosely following the plotline….**

**Thanks for reading! Reviews are appreciated!**


	3. Year 2

I huddled in the blanket that the fireman had given me, uncomfortable in the borrowed clothes they given me. Everyone was outside, staring at what used to be my house, a small one floored house that now looked burnt and on the verge of collapsing. I hadn't been able to retrieve much. Much of my clothes had thankfully been in the washer, including my jacket that Gumi had given me, saving them from the fire. All my letters had been saved in a fireproof safe box that the firemen had retrieved, along with a couple photo albums of our time together and some legal documents. They only salvaged a few other things like my laptop and phone, but I was really fine with just those things. The rest didn't really matter.

I saw Gumo's dark green van pull up in the street and he leapt out of the driver's seat, looking around before seeing me.

"Yuuma!" he shouted, running over as fast as he could. "I heard what happened! Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, shifting a little in my position. The clothes were itchy on my sensitive skin. I'd been in my bedroom, the roof collapsed entirely and yet, the fallen beams and wood had formed a small cave over me, leaving me with not even a scratch. When the fireman found me in the collapsed bedroom my burnt house, unscathed albeit unclothed, they'd considered it a miracle I hadn't been died. Maybe it was. I hadn't been particularly attached to the house I'd been living in, so I didn't really feel much as I watched the firemen shout orders and dig around in my burnt house.

"You sure? You look terrible," Gumo said, sitting down next to me. We stared at the house for a good long while in silence, watching as men in neon yellow moved in and out of the blackened walls of my home.

How everything had turned into this, I wasn't quite sure myself. By the time I'd noticed anything, my house was already close to burning down and collapsing. I sighed and turned my face up the skies, watching the carefree clouds float by.

It'd started as such a normal day. Just how had to it ended up like this?

* * *

I got out of bed as usual, stretching my tired arms. It was near the end of the second year since I started writing letters to Gumi, and I still managed to write everyday. Reckless it might be, for pursuing her with this determined passion, but I held fast to my word. The only problem I had was that my right arm felt tired sometimes, perhaps from the strain of hand writing letters several times a day.

I let out a big yawn and stretched my arms while staring at the calendar, looking at my schedule. It was a Sunday, so I had the time to do what I wanted. I threw open the gray blue curtains to reveal a bright day, blue skies and white clouds for what I could see. There was a hint of gray clouds in the far distance, but the storm probably wouldn't come until much later.

Somewhat reluctantly, I pulled on a pair of sweats and my jacket, bending over to see if I could touch my toes. I winced in pain as my fingers just barely brushed the carpeted floor.

After making a mental checklist of what I had to bring and what I needed to do, I locked my front door and went out into the sidewalk. Gumo had set aside a special workout schedule for me, threatening to stop taking my letters to Gumi if I didn't follow his orders. He said it was for my own health benefit since my body was so weak. It wasn't my fault I'd been born into such a frail body, but I really relied on Gumo sometimes, especially for the letters, so I had to comply.

The workout wasn't so bad. I just had to go outside for thirty minutes a day and jog around for most of the time. I could get almost to the supermarket with no problem by now. When I'd first started, I hadn't been able to even get out of the neighborhood without keeling over, gasping for breath.

Still, I arrived at the supermarket out of breath. I unzipped my jacket and grabbed a green basket, speeding through the place to grab stuff so that I could get home faster. I paused a second before the vegetables section before grabbing a bag of carrots, Gumi's favorite. I had some leftover curry sauce back home, so I thought, why not? Might as well cook for myself for once. I usually got take outs, since I was too lazy to turn on the stove, but today, for some reason, I was feeling diligent. Maybe Gumo was right about exercise making you more energized.

I checked out of the store and lugged three plastic bags of groceries in my arms. One was filled with carrots, potatoes and onions, the second with the meat I needed to complete my curry dish. The last bag carried the usual. More decorated letter paper with matching envelopes, ink cartridges, and a giant bag of candy. Candy was essential to my survival, seeing how I hated moving around so much, and nothing Gumo was going to say would ever make me stop eating candy.

The walk back to my house seemed to take an eternity. I took a break after half a block, setting my groceries lightly onto the floor and turning to stare up at the cerulean sky. It was such a nice and peaceful morning, birds hopping about on the wire lines, chirping to each other like they anticipated great news.

I let out a big sigh and fixated my eyes on a particular cloud. Squinting my eyes, I said out loud, "Look at that cloud, it looks like a music note, doesn't it?"

Another cloud floated towards it, slightly puffed up on the sides with random wisps sticking out of the bottom. I chuckled, "Now it looks like a car's running over the music."

The wind picked up, brushing into my face. Some parts felt cooler than the others. I rubbed my cold cheeks with cold fists, wiping my tears off my cheeks until they evaporated into the air. I blinked rapidly, trying to contain the sudden wave of emotion that was overwhelming me. In a desperate attempt to stay calm, I fixated my eyes on a cloud that resembled a laughing person. My lips parted into a faint smile as I mumbled, "I hope you're happy where you are, Gumi."

Quickly, I ducked my head down again and grabbed my bags, running off down the sidewalk. Someone had just opened their door with a creak. They were no doubt looking at me like I was a maniac, but it was okay. I'd be safe once I got home.

I didn't stop until I was at my front door, fumbling for the keys and throwing myself inside. I collapsed in the doorway, my butt on the floor and my hands supporting my upper body as I panted for breath. I never knew running for that long would be possible. It was definitely something to inform Gumi about.

I pushed the unrest back inside me where it belonged and slowly got off the floor. It was around noon, about time for my lunch. I dumped the vegetables and meat out of the bags before weaving back into my room, avoiding clutters of magazines and books on the floor. I threw off my clothes and took a quick shower, just to satisfy the minimum amount of personal hygiene I had to have. I put on something more formal after that, a collared shirt and pants, just in case Gumo or someone barged into my house again. IA and Yohio liked doing that particularly. Whenever they got into a fight, one of them would come over here to let their anger out. I was a pretty good listener if I felt like it, though they started coming so often that I stopped getting surprised whenever one of the siblings slammed my door wide open.

My jacket and sweats went into the washing machine. I squatted there to stare at the clothes go round and round in the washer. I wasn't sure why I was doing it, but I was too tired to care.

My stomach gave a growl. Reluctantly, I picked myself up, grumbling, "Better make lunch then."

It took me more effort to make the curry than to eat it. To turn on the stove was a pain in itself after my countless attempts to light the fire. Then came the food itself, and I just had barely enough energy to eat my food. By the time I'd finished, I wasn't even sure if the calories I'd burnt had been made up by my meal. I was tempted to just flop onto my bed and fall asleep, but I forced myself into my desk. I had to at least write a letter to Gumi first. I'd written to her everyday, no matter what happened, and I wasn't going to let sleep disrupt that habit. I knew I wouldn't get up again if I slept now.

I sat there, my pen in my hand, tapping it aimlessly on the table. It was suddenly hard to think of something to write, especially since I'd been so close to breaking down. Hesitantly, I gently touched the point of my pen to the paper and decided to let my thoughts flow rather than think too much about it.

_Dear Gumi,_

_How are you doing today? I had to run all the way to the supermarket and back today because of Gumo's workout plan for me. Now it's made me all tired and sleepy, though I guess the good side to that is I got to eat curry because of it._

_Remember how we used to go to the hills to explore nature? We'd stare at the clouds and have fun pointing out funny shapes and pictures. I saw a cloud that looked like a music note today. It reminded me of you. I know you worked so hard to become an idol, and even today, your songs are the only music I listen too. I saw a laughing person in the clouds today as well, right after a fluffy car ran into the music note. I couldn't help but wonder if you were still laughing even when you face misfortunes. I love how you're always cheerful no matter what happens. I should learn from that optimism of yours._

_But you know what, Gumi? It's hard, it really is. To write to you every day like this is more difficult than I could imagine. I know I promised you that day, that no matter what happens, I'd always think of you with a smile and move on. You're probably happy where you are, successful and loved. I saw those clouds today. They reminded me of you, and they made me cry without me even realizing it. I miss you, Gumi, more than you can ever imagine. I want to be able to hold your hand when I walk down the street, to laugh at your obsession with carrots or anything orange, to hear you sing to me and me only like you used to. _

_I'm at my limit, Gumi. I love you so much it hurts. I know that right now, you and I don't have the same status in this society as each other, but I can't stand knowing you're always just out of reach, where I can't embrace you like I used to before you went off to chase your dreams. So please. I don't care how you do it. Please, at least respond this once. I think I might go crazy if I miss you anymore than I do right now. _

_Love, Yuuma_

I stared at my letter for a while, reading it over again before giving a defeated sigh. There, I'd gone and let out my emotions, even though I'd promised not to. I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt. It was getting strangely hot in the room, a crackling noise sometimes echoing in my ears. I wondered if it was someone's birthday, or if there was some celebration in need of fireworks.

I didn't care though. I shut my tired eyes and leaned over the table, letting out a giant yawn. I could rewrite the letter tomorrow, when my head was cleared. I had all the time in the world to complete it anyways.

Now, I just wanted sleep.

* * *

"Sir, we've tried to save as much as we can," the chief fireman said, coming up to me and snapping me out of my reverie.

"W-what? Oh, uh, yeah, thanks. Sorry for all this trouble," I stammered back, getting up to shake his hand.

"No worries, it's our job to put out fires and help citizens after all," he replied. "I might need you to come to the station to make a statement afterwards though."

I nodded and waved the crew off. People were starting to leave as well, perhaps bored of the fire scene. I sat back down next to Gumo, who seemed to have turned to stone.

"Gumo, you okay? You look like it was your house that burnt down," I half-heartedly joked.

"You're really fine with this house burning down like this?" Gumo asked solemnly, looking like he was studying the still standing structure of most of my house.

I was about to reply "It's okay" when I realized that that wouldn't be true. No matter how much I didn't feel for this house of my, the tingling emotion in my chest said otherwise. I'd grown to enjoy living in my own place for the few years I'd had the home, and to have it all disappear because of my own careless mistake, it really wasn't a great feeling to swallow.

"I was too reckless, wasn't I?" I finally muttered, burying my chin into my knees that were pulled up to my chest. I hugged them tighter, a feeling of regret finally hitting me like a punch in the stomach.

"A little bit," Gumo sighed, his hand coming over my back and onto my head, ruffling my hair. "Don't let it get to you, Yuuma."

"I'm sorry," I apologized to no one in particular. I should've looked after the house better. Sure, it wasn't anything special, but now, it was no longer inhabitable, the first home I'd ever bought myself. Gumi had even helped me pay for some of it, though I had made sure to return the money to her. Not that she needed my money to sustain herself of course.

I slowly got out of my huddle and leaned over to pick up the heavy safe box that contained my valuable memories with Gumi. I entered the numbers 0626, the date of Gumi's birthday. The black metal door gave a click and I gently pulled it open.

My letters were there all right, a good dozen that I'd been meaning to give to Gumo but never got around to doing it. A small photo album was in there as well among other larger ones. I eased it out of the box, Gumo looking over my shoulder.

"Oh, I remember that pattern," Gumo noted the design of the cover, a blaze of cherry blossom petals crisscrossing as if to symbolize the birth of a blooming future but also the end of a carefree past. "Those are pictures from our high school graduation, right?"

I just nodded before flipping to the first page. There, staring back at us, was the first photo Gumi and I took together, without our knowledge of it. Gumo laughed at the memory and I gave a good-natured smile. Gumi and I been casually talking to each other, and Gumo, having always been sneaky around his sister, took a picture of us when we weren't aware. Only later when he later flashed the picture before us while introducing himself to me did we know of its existence. We had a good laugh about it, and somehow it'd found its way into this album.

I continued to flip through the pages. The album was full of pictures of our teenage years, before we worried about jobs and what it meant to be an adult, before we worried about achieving our dreams. There were pictures of us eating at a café we used to go to, walking down the street, or just having fun. Once in a while I chanced upon a photo of Gumi and me together, her smile as radiant as I remembered.

"Don't you wish we could return to those times?" Gumo remarked, speaking my mind. "You and Gumi were such a cute couple too."

"Shut up," I mumbled, burying my chin into the blanket. I still wasn't comfortable when people commented of my relationship with Gumi. It was a mixture of happiness that Gumi actually was my girlfriend, and slight embarrassment when people joked about it.

"But I mean, wouldn't it have been great if she'd just decided to be a normal girl and live a normal life?" Gumo sighed, staring up at the clouds. "Then you two would've been together for forever."

I hesitated a moment. I remembered the letter I'd written to Gumi. It'd probably been burned in the fire, but the fact I was still alive bothered me. Not that I wanted to be dead, of course. But the chances I had of living through that fire had been literally zero. It was almost as if someone had given me a hand while I was asleep.

"So this is your answer," I mumbled, the edges of my lips barely turning upwards.

"What?" Gumo asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Nothing," I replied. "It's just you shouldn't try to reprimand Gumi for chasing her dreams. Not everyone gets to achieve them, and she's one of the lucky people who did."

Gumo let out a long sigh. "If you say so," he shrugged. He gave me a serious look before saying, "Well, come on. Let's get you cleaned up, what do you think?"

"I already took a shower thanks to your workout," I complained, though I accept Gumo's outstretched hand as he lifted me up to my feet.

"Good, you're staying healthy," Gumo reaffirmed, steering me into his van with a firm grip. He went back a second time to grab the stuff that had been salvaged. He set them heavily onto the floor of the van before slamming the door shut and getting into the driver's seat.

"So, off to my house, shall we? I'll make sure to find you a new place to live where I'll be able to make sure you turned off the stove. Sound cool?" Gumo suggested, throwing his foot on the gas pedal and sending the van chugging forward.

I leaned back in my seat and closed my eyes again, already tired again. After everything that had happened today, I had to agree with Gumo for once.

* * *

**A/N: This chapter was really hard to write for some reason…and long too... Hoping it gets easier as I go on (I'm only on Year 2… T_T)**

**Yuuma ate curry. Because I felt like having him it eat. Because I want some. Now I'm all hungry….**

**Thanks for reading! Please review, favorite, follow, whatever it is you want to do! **


End file.
